Dog eat dog world...

I have been in a relationship for 5 years that has sucked me dry. It has left me a SHELL of my former self and I think I may be starting to see the effect it has taken on the life around me. I have lost friends, gained nothing but weight and distance from family members- declined financially, emotionally, and caused me to stray from my beliefs and values as a person.
I think my personality thrives on fixating on something and devoting my attention to it. He has been my addiction, my drug. Not because he was just so wonderful and left me feeling this euphoric high that I couldn't stop chasing but because he was something for me to focus on, to fixate on. From my years of attention to my mental deficiencies and emotional issues, my anxiety and my need to control things has lead to my overcompensation in fixation. I know that I have addictive habits. I know that he is my addiction.
I need something new. And I know.....as insane as it sounds- but just as rehab centers switch drugs for something to ease the withdrawls immediately- a puppy would be that for me.
I have taken care of Kevin- picked him up from the side of the road- cleaned him up when he was sick and picked up after his messes. I have made certain that his life is in order and that he has everything that he needs at every turn. I jump when he stirs and give in to his every desire for need to please him and keep him safe and happy. I do not think (and I know myself and my mind/ heart/ body) that I would be able to go through leaving him at this time with nothing to occupy my time, thoughts, and mind. To "replace" him if you will. I need to switch one drug for another in a sense. I need something new to fixate and devote myself to and in the past- that has been other men. Going right into another relationship will be the worst thing for me because I will be looking for the type of man to fixate on- and that is a habit that I am trying to break.
I do not want to repeat that cycle. I want to break free. Spend some time with myself and get back to ME.
I know what you may be thinking. Something like this, I imagine-
You CAN do it, you will be fine.
You need to devote yourself to GOD and you will be fine.
You can focus on GOD and or family and you will be fine.
You need to love yourself not another person/ thing/ animal, you will be fine.
You are stronger than you think, you will be fine.
You do not need something to fixate on, you will be fine.

But I know me, I know myself well enough to know that I really strongly from the center of my core, need to make this step. I have too much love to give and have not been able to do anything substantial (give or be able to receive) with that love for another non family member in a LONG time. It would be healing for me, therapeutic, strengthening, enlightening, everything to me. It would mean everything. I am getting ready to embark on a new life, new job, new car, new opportunities all around. I have so much to prove, to myself- and to others and I want to put all of my focus into proving to others that I am strong, I can do it, I am more than capable and since I will have no other distractions- I am positive I will succeed with flying colors given the chance.
I want to make the trade.